There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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