No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
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