so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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