dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
