oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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