Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
