Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
