i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
