I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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