i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
