no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
There's always time for handjobs
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
