girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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