Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
