Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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