I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
