Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
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