So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
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