therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize