ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
