Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
