another moral hangover. fuck.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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