the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
21 Worst Confessions on a First Date
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks