kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed