whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Sober January is a disaster.
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and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
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Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves