just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.