Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
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threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.