Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(618): View more from Illinois

the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."

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(928): View more from Arizona

im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was

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(315): View more from New York

The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.

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19 Parents Admit the Lies They’ve Told Their Children
Read it at the TFLN blog
(760): View more from California

just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?

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(779): View more from Illinois

Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.

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(760): View more from California

I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks

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