Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?

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(303): I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow? http://tfl.nu/hnqf

Replies (12) Good night (3220) Bad night (767)
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(970): View more from Colorado

you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.

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(970): you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake. http://tfl.nu/y1g9

Replies (18) Good night (986) Bad night (4461)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"

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(608): and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM" http://tfl.nu/3pco

Replies (26) Good night (1617) Bad night (7358)
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(240): View more from Maryland

My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.

(1-240): View more from Maryland

Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?

(240): View more from Maryland

Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.

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(240): My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist. (1-240): Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab? (240): Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore. http://tfl.nu/3est

Replies (11) Good night (1078) Bad night (3691)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.

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(908): a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester. http://tfl.nu/e11n

Replies (52) Good night (4029) Bad night (550)
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(718): View more from New York

I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.

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(718): I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed. http://tfl.nu/ihm6

Replies (9) Good night (1572) Bad night (3787)
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(573): View more from Missouri

My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.

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(573): My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly. http://tfl.nu/go2x

Replies (7) Good night (7008) Bad night (907)
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(214): View more from Texas

If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.

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(214): If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice. http://tfl.nu/19fo

Replies (6) Good night (3307) Bad night (802)
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(616): View more from Michigan

bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store

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(616): bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store http://tfl.nu/dcxn

Replies (7) Good night (3329) Bad night (1226)
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(847): View more from Illinois

I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE

(1-847): View more from Illinois

This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.

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(847): I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE (1-847): This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to. http://tfl.nu/xeyh

Replies (15) Good night (4348) Bad night (816)
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(337): View more from Louisiana

You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.

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(337): You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left. http://tfl.nu/h7ai

Replies (3) Good night (1575) Bad night (491)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!

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(+44): Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?! http://tfl.nu/qizp

Replies (4) Good night (1282) Bad night (596)
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(614): View more from Ohio

Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist

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(614): Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist http://tfl.nu/opm5

Replies (5) Good night (1165) Bad night (685)
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(310): View more from California

He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning

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(310): He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning http://tfl.nu/j6rj

Replies (1) Good night (265) Bad night (473)
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(425): View more from Washington

He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.

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(425): He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night. http://tfl.nu/zs6o

Replies (6) Good night (456) Bad night (798)

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