I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
