i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
