Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
