I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
