You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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