So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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