LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
