Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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