Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I've blown a few things in my day
I just found puke in my bra..
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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