who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
