I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize