Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
