And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
