please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
