Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
