dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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