so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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