i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
