Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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