The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
