yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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