So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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