I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
