erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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