all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
