i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
