I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
