1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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