If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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