I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
We're too hungover to prance.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
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