note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
