god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
