Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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