And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
