What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize