I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
