He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize