Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
She even gives head with a lisp.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
